He was holding a Mathesons smoked sausage in his hand
He was thinking It was more salty than He’d planned
Matheson was watching and wondering what he’d think
Do you think we should wash it down with a drink?
Now lets try yours our Gordon said, does it taste as good as mine?
do I detect a hint of Chardonnay,possibly vintage 99
I’m not sure that I can beat it, but I shall surely try
And no need to let it spit now, I have something in my eye
Then along came the Glesga polis, with a broad smile
Ahh caught you now you blaggard,was it worth your while?
First it was your bosom buddy,Purcell with his cocaine
But I must ask you first, can you tell me what’s your name?
Now can you tell me what You’ve been doing in this car?
We’ve been observing you, from not so very far
Is that sausage your friend was smoking going away?
It seems to suffer from some shrinkage I might say.
In your statement which your giving us, this was a surgery of sorts
You have been doing some of your personal counselling of course
Its all part of your esteemed duties, to the many and the few
As you’ve been doing for so long now, to the gullible you screw
Let us see you safely home now,but first show you a little cell
Let us introduce you, to our esteemed fiscal friend as well
I am sure he’ll really like you, so no need to make a fuss
And let us drive you in our car, It’s more comfortable than the bus.