Its been Pandamonium on BBC Reporting Scotland over the past few nights.Wall to wall coverage of all things Panda,right down to their In Flight Hospitality snacks.
Other things that Auntie Been have reported included, homeless dogs, sectarian chanting at Celtic park, variations In coffee shop caffeine,and naturally that phenomenon which we rarely see in this country, Snow!
But mostly its all been about Pandas.
Much as I think they are cute animals, do they really need to take up so much news time? The BBC obviously think they do,after all not much else is worth Reporting in Scotland.
I often wonder what other boring meaningless things have actually been happening, so I had a look around to see what they might be missing or brushing over which might be newsworthy.
Here are a few of the things I have readily been able to find.
I have decided their newsworthiness on the Panda Scale.
There is the Scottish Social Attitudes Survey published today.
The survey revealed that two thirds of Scots would opt for independence if it meant they benefited financially.
Unfortunately It has No Pandas, worse still it mentions Independence,therefore must be a very bad thing for Pandas. So -100 Panda Points.
A report to be published by Lloyds Bank Corporate Markets showed that 26% of oil and gas companies operating in Scotland have already expanded into renewable energy, and that the figure is set to rise to 55% over the next five years.
Again,No Pandas, Pandas don’t drink oil,and if they did,It would be bad for them! therefore -10 Pandas
The Scottish Government is set to commit up to £60 billion to the financing of at least 80 infrastructure building projects as part of a 15-year plan to avoid Scotland falling back into recession.
Panda Score Nil, but a minor Interest Score because money Is being borrowed from Westminster,allows it a final points total of .5 of a Panda.
The scandal over the radioactive contamination that is threatening a Fife shoreline escalated after scientists said they do not believe claims made by the MoD.
Concerns for the beach at Dalgety Bay have risen after hundreds of radioactive contaminated fragments were discovered by scientists working for the Scottish Environmental Protection Agency (SEPA)
Send out for the Panadol! Zero Pandas. M.O.D cover Up,Government Inaction, Serious Health Risk,Gordon Brown. It’s too late to cover up,damage limitation required,blame shifted from the one eyed shifty one. -200 Pandas, but can’t avoid broadcasting,any omission will be spotted even by dimmest of Labour Supporters.
Good Evening, welcome to Reporting Scotland. Tonight’s News from around the country Is all Pandas.