A Labour of Labouring for Christmas

So here it is Merry Christmas everybody’s having fun.Here’s to the future now, the merriment has only just begun!
Ok, I am taking liberties with an old popular Slade Christmas no.1 this Monday morning. However I feel I can be excused, such was the humour and merriment infecting Scottish Nationalist supporters over the weekend. Labour had only just granted nationalists their Christmas wish and made Johann Lamont their leader of the Labour Scottish branch. Oh Joy to the World and Little Donkey and all that!! But no silent Night from Nationalists, they were all chortling deep Ho Ho Ho’s well into the Saturday night sky.
To be fair though to Johann, they would still have been fairly happy whichever of Labours leadership candidates had won the poisoned chalice..err prize?

Anyway, enough of this merriment from me. Lets reflect on Saturdays Inauguration in a more sober fashion.
The first thing to be announced by Labour on Saturday was that the Leader had been chosen from a Ballot of 30,000 entitled to vote.
WOW, Crivens, Help ma boab!! This was highly impressive stuff! A miracle on the par of Jesus feeding the multitude of 5,000 with only 5 small barley loaves and 2 fishes! How had they managed to create 30,000 from a membership of around 13,000 in 2010. Labours highpoint when they were the leading party in Scotland was somewhere around the 20,000 figure, yet they had seemingly topped this apex by another 10,000. Remarkable stuff.Next they would be turning water into whisky. Now there lies a vote winner indeed, because Scots would truly need to be drunk to make the current lot into government again.But sadly for Labour, this is only illusion and smoke and mirrors.In reality, the 30,000 balloted include members, and trade union affiliates. Many Scottish trade unionists are actually SNP supporters these days, and I know some personally who received their vote for the Labour leadership. They did the honourable thing and binned it, but I do wonder if some might have voted for their favourite candidate? SNP supporters choosing the Labour leadership? Naah that is just too way out to contemplate, Isn’t it?

Moving on to the Big Announcement. And the next winner of Strictly X Rated Scottish Labour is…….BIG Pregnant Pause…..In no particular order…..Baited breath….JOHANN LAMONT!!!!
And that is just the SNP supporters cheering. Meanwhile the Losers are sitting glumly staring, muttering under their breaths….AWW NAWW,You have just got tae be kiddin!!!
And that is the Real Labour memberships reaction, those who voted,and those who didn’t.
You see, when the breakdown of votes in Labours election fix is announced, the members actually voted 53% in favour of Ken Dodd McIntosh and 37% in favour of Johann Klebb Lamont. It is not the easiest thing in the world to decipher Labours convoluted electoral system, but I suspect It is a deliberate ploy to hide the true figures from folk.

The voting announced by Labour was as follows

3.44% Membership
2.73% Affiliates
TOTAL: 7.95%

12.18% Membership
21.81 Affiliates
TOTAL: 51.77%

17.71% Membership
8.80% Affiliates

So clearly, Lamont was the clear winner by a margin of 11.49% of the Total vote. She won heavily on the Affiliate and Union vote, and only lost the membership vote by 5.53% of their vote, right? Wrong!
Trying to make your way through Labours Electoral college system is like trying to find your way through Pans Labyrinth.
Labour have thus far only released percentages, and not the actual numbers of those who actually voted in their ballot of 30,000. But even what they have released, in the way the percentages are expressed is ambiguous.
In Labours system, parliamentarians,members and affiliates are all given equal weighting, irrespective of numbers, which gives us the figures Labour released above. However if we break these down into their separate categories, we get a different set of results and a different picture.

Lamonts and McIntoshes results by each group were as follows.

37% of membership
66% of Affiliates

53% of Membership
26% of Affiliates

So what does this tell us?
It tells us that it was the Unions wot won it for Lamont, by a winning margin of 40% of their vote.
It also tells us that McIntosh was the ordinary labour members choice. by a margin of 16% over Lamont, not the 5.53% suggested by their official table.
What is also the case with labours system, is that you can have multiple voting, depending on whether you are an ordinary member, a trade unionist or parliamentarian.
Allegedly, one of the leadership contenders voted for themselves 7 times!! A mere ordinary member would only have one vote.

It all reminds me a bit of George Orwells Animal Farm.
“All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.”

All members are equal but some members are more equal than others is Labour maxim.
However, the final result, like it or not dear Labour members, is that Johann Lamont is your new Leader. Blessed be they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.But in the words of the master illusionist Paul Daniels..Not a lot!!

Following the announcement came the valedictory speech. I was truly impressed. Not by the speech itself, nor my Johann stumbling over some of the words she was reading, but rather by showing some humour when it came to the part where she read that some had said some nice things about her…she paused, and said she had no idea who the writer was thinking about,as she had not heard any complimentary words said about her,herself.
It was all mildly amusing, and good on ya Johann for going off message and showing some individuality.
However, it really only showed that the more things change, the more they remain the same. The puppet strings became visible, and they are still being pulled from London, no matter what Labour says different. It is merely more Illusion to suggest that Labour in Scotland has found Devolution for itself, and that Johann Lamont really now leads an autonomous branch, with her in complete control of everything Labour in Scotland.
There is NO Scottish Labour party, There is no separate party registered with the electoral commission, the only party Is the Labour party registered in London. All but deception, or as my old mammy used to say, all fur coat and nae knickers!

Meanwhile as Christmas came early for the Nationalist cause, might I also take this opportunity to wish you all a very merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year.
I am away to break out the Jura, and to give thanks to Santa for delivering such a fine gift to the cause of Scottish Independence.


About auldacquaintance

I am not a member of any political party. I am however a strong supporter of Scots Independence. Any views which I express in this Blog are purely my own. This Blog intends to be a place where I will be putting my views on Scots Independence. It will primarily concern itself with the upcoming Referendum In Scotland. However It will also be somewhat diverse in the range of day to day issues which are evident to me in modern day Scotland. Not all of it will be political, and indeed may take me off into avenues I am not even aware of yet. Please come and join in on this journey, and any comments are welcome provided they are not abusive! All the best from a new acquaintance! Rod
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7 Responses to A Labour of Labouring for Christmas

  1. norrie says:

    i have now this site as a favourite good hupur and great writing well done

  2. norrie says:

    should have said humour

  3. Scottish republic says:

    I am in good hupur too – bless Labour for delivering unto the SNP that which craved most – the Lamont hobbit with the Krankie good looks.

    I broke out the champagne (no, not a figure of speech) when I heard the news. There had been an eerie calm amongst the Scot nats as the Labourite Brit nats were making their murky way through their election lottery.

    Nobody was slagging off Lamont because one didn’t wish to break the spell – the only glum was GG who insisted on telling the truth about the hobbit – and as if by divine intervention the miracle happened. LAmont was elected.

    Bless Labour for being the hegemonic croniests they are – merry Xmas to all, and to all a good New Year.

    I still can’t quite believe they did it. Still, I knew they had it in them. Well done – great choice!

    I’ve just about worked myself up into another celebratory whisky – in fact – yes, a wee whisky it is.

  4. Scottish republic says:


    Nearly did myself a mischief when I heard JL’s position already under threat from her backstabbing colleagues.

    Turned out, they’re just discussing medium to long term plans to do away with Hobbit Krankie.

    It’s really not okay to give us such a wondrous Xmas offering just to do a hatchet job on it at the first opportunity.

    Still, it is Labour and they have the moral compass of a Voldemort – anything can and will happen. They change leaders like soiled underwear.

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