I’m not leading you on?
In three years,I will be gone
I may win on the roundabouts
But then You’ll lose on the swings
In or out, there is never a doubt
Just who’s pulling the strings
I’m not tied up in you
No matter what you try to do!
I wonder if one day that
You’ll say that you care
If you say you love me madly
You wont find me there
Like a puppet on a string
Apologies to Sandie Shaw for playing fast and loose with her lyrics.
You are Not yanking our chain,You are Not pulling our strings,and we are Not dancing to your tune.
He didn’t say as much, but the look on his face when interviewed on National televison, (slap bang in the middle of Colonial Secretary Moores big moment in the Yookay Coral),almost said as much,when Alex Salmond announced that the Independence Referendum would be in the Autumn of 2014.
I had settled down yesterday afternoon to watch Mr Moore’s big moment in Westminster yesterday afternoon. It is not something I would generally put myself through, I would normally much prefer to watch a slow snail dragging itself across my lawn, while listening to an annoying bluebottle buzzing at my ear,than subject myself to Moore.
However, yesterday was an exception after the events of the previous 48hours. I wanted to know just exactly what the conniving Rascals were going to try to pull next.I was not to be disappointed.
Moore began by informing us that London believed the Scottish parliament did not have the legal authority or competence to hold an independence referendum.In westminsters view It would be illegal!
However, these kind Unionists wanted to assist,and give the Scottish Government the legal right to do so. How very understanding and generous of them, I thought.
What he said next was that they would only give the Scots the right to hold a referendum,if Holyrood danced to Westminsters Tune, and allowed Westminster to Hijack the Mandate the Scottish Government had been given by the people of Scotland in May.
In short, the FUDs had attached strings,and if the Scots didn’t accept hanging by them,then no legal permission to ballot the people of Scotland would be granted, and any attempt to illegally hold a referendum would end up in the Supreme Court,and the Scottish Government would lose.Ooooh Goody
But Old Moore is a kind Unionist and really wanted to assist Scotland in having the promised Referendum.Such is the marvellous care and understanding that Westminster has, a sort of benign Big Brother for these wayward difficult Scots. I almost got up and kissed the screen in gratitude, Almost, but not quite.Anybody observing me at this point of proceedings may have wondered at the odd hand signals and sign language I was displaying, I am somewhat deaf you see.
Moore went on to explain that it was very important to have the referendum as quickly as possible. It seems that the Everybody and Labour have been advised that delay creates uncertainty that is damaging investment in the Scottish economy,by some American Banking lot that have gone Banrupt 3 times and taken to court for Irregularities in their advice, A mob with a name like a defunct 1970’s Clothing chain who claim to run Big Business,but are minnows in Scotland,and some group of Mechanics.
It was imperative therefore to have the referendum as soon as possible to allay those fears,and have a referendum “sooner rather than later”. British officials suggesting a referendum could be held within 18 months.
It seems that International Companies have been expressing their concerns about investing In Scotland, unfortunately the Government wont say who these are, even when directly asked. It’s all a Big Secret, just like the Legal advice they have received over the rights of Scotland to hold its own legal referendum. But I understood, there are just some things we are better off not knowing, we might go running away in horror if we were to be told. I trust them, I really do! They are so honest and kind, they would never keep anything from me that might be to our benefit knowing, Mc Crone..Sorry, Bad cough!
I did read a very strange tale today but it wasn’t by a very reliable source I fear.”LONDON, Jan 10 (Reuters) – UK North Sea oil and gas investment is set to mark an all-time high in 2012 as high oil prices entice investors to boost production,”
I know that cannot possibly be right, after all our kind benefactors have told us that International Companies are scared to Invest in Scotland just now. I know just who to trust,because I know which side my bread is buttered on.
Thank God For Cameron, Osbourne,Clegg, Milliband, Moore, Anwar, Curran,Lamont,Davidson and Rennie. I pray for these Guardian Angels every night,and ask God to keep them safe, they are so good to us! Wherever would they be without us? Sorry wrong way round….That should have read wherever would I be without them.
It wasn’t very often a SNP MP got called to speak,there were so many Conservative,Labour,Liberals,Lots of English saying nice things, and even an Ulster Unionist or two wanting to support dear old Moore. But get to speak the SNP Members did eventually, unfortunately something was seriously wrong with the sound system when they spoke, an extreme amount of background noise deafening them as soon as they opened their mouths, one even got cut off very sharply. They really will have to do something about these acoustics in Westminster! Oh My Lord, My Sweet Lord, Lord Thurso possibly suggested the reason why, seemingly the area the SNP are in is called their Play Pen. Ooh Lordy Lordy Lordy.. I had really no idea the SNP were so childish, it surprises me.
One of them was very gracious and thankful though, they gave great thanks to all the Unionists and PM Cameron in particular, It seems that he in particular has been really busy recruiting for the SNP and had massively increased their membership over the past couple of days. Really, how kind can he possibly be?? Wonderful.
I digress, the other things that Commissar Moore told us was that there would be a consultation of everybody, so that the Government could decide what was best for everyone. This would include all people in Scotland,and Also those outwith Scotland, even though they dont get to vote. He wanted everyone’s opinion on how fast they could call the referendum, but given all the trouble, tomorrow would be ideal.
He then said no whippersnappers of 16 or 17 should have a vote, they are too childish, and they should go and play with their guns in the British Army, go on holiday to Afghanistan, and play with tanks and toy bombs and things, they might even get married and have children, but certainly not vote on something as important to their future as a referendum. Oh dear no, that would never do.
Next up, There would only be a straight Yes/No question on Independence, to avoid muddying the issue by asking voters any question about giving Scotland more devolved power. It really is not at all fair to worry Scots about things they might not understand, they would only get confused over words like ‘Devolved’ and ‘Power’, they really have no idea what it is like to have Power, and it is not at all fair to thrust it upon them.
The only real downside was that if Scottish Government didn’t like the idea of being marionettes, then unfortunately. the strings would be cut, and the whole referendum would collapse,and they would have to go into the naughty corner and not get any chance of having Independence for their tea. I nearly cried! Please Daddy Moore No, don’t do that! They are just silly sausages.
I then switched channels to see Fish Face had already cut the strings. I am going to cwy and cwy and cwy, and jump up and down until I am sick!
Danny A Zander
Aged 39 and a quarter.