There are far more weightier and Important matters at foot in Scotland today, so the following comment will be brief.
I watched and listened yesterday to Interventions Into the Independence date with a sense of disbelief at some of the comedy served up to us.By the end of last night I was laughing my socks off.
So just a quick recap of these comedians today as an Interlude from the serious and historic events of the Scottish parliament.
First up: Paxman
The pompous Ass that is known as Jeremy Paxman excelled himself in a comedic interview with Alex Salmond last night. He left Alex stunned and aghast and quite taken aback, by this Comedy turns attempt at a serious interview. It was a parody of a political interview of quite astounding brilliance. Rory Bremner has found his new comedy writer. Watch out for this lad Paxman, he will do well at the Edinburgh Fringe.
Scotland is Zimbabwe, Alex Salmond leads a One Party Dictatorship,and plays Robert Mugabe. Trains are to be loaded with British Gold and sent in convoy to Scotland,only they are empty.We all know Brown sold it all! And the best one of the night, left till last…The BBC is a Charity!
The last gag floundered somewhat, because its true, we all donate to it, and it spends most of its income in England. The remnant is used to support out of work Labour political sorts in Scotland, and keep them from the poorhouse.
But overall a flawless performance By Paxman as he endeavours to be taken as seriously as Clarkson.
Alex Salmond left the studio in awe of the great man, and his success of making Ladbrokes slash the odds against Scottish Independence in the following half hour.
This commentator was left crying out ‘More More’ and I am sure I will not be disappointed. Paxman is a Star in the making.
Earlier in the day we had a theatrical performance In the House of Lords by the Earl of Caithness.
I was unsure if what sort of performance this belted Earl would put up, as he looked like an extra straight from the set of, a League of Gentlemen, and the fact that he was a complete unknown to me, being a bit part extra. However he was not to disappoint.
With Spoof gravitas he delivered his lines impeccably. A major part in a Mike Myers production as comic master villain, surely is but a phone call away.
His devious Master Plan unfolded before our very eyes.
If Scoland voted Yes to Indpendence, then the Northern Isles of Orkney and Shetland must be allowed to be partioned to rUK so that rUk can have the Oil, and much of the North Seas Renawable resources.
The Evil plan continued, with rUK retaining a big Rock in the Atlantic called Rockall, popultion 1000’s of Sea Birds. thus ensuring that rUK had All the Massive Oil Developments of the Atlantic too.
He disappointed however, in that he didn’t manage the Evil Laugh, and failed to deliver the lines ‘I have a cunning plan for Oil Domination’ , so I have to regretfully mark him down on that score.
The Cunning Evil Plan fails, as is only right in these spoof villainous parts, because of simple little errors.
To annex the Northern Isles as part of rUKs territorial waters in relation to an Independent Scotlands territorial waters, reduces the Northern Isles to a 12 mile limit….And All the Major Oil Fields remain in Scotlands possession.
And in trying to lay claim to Rockall, part of the Western Isles and postcoded to Harris, would create an International Incident by invading The Crofters of these Isles, who still have a bloomin large Rocket Range to fire at any nasty Super Powers invading this Country, and rightly furious that they weren’t allowed the possibility of Autonomy like the Northern Isles. Hell hath no fury like an Islander seeing anyone trying to deprive him of his powerful liquids!
Of course neither performance merits much more than a light distraction from serious events, but they were both welcome in their different ways.
And seeing as its Burns Day today. Let me quote the man himself.
Ye see yon birkie, ca’d a lord,
Wha struts, an’ stares, an’ a’ that;
Tho’ hundreds worship at his word,
He’s but a coof for a’ that:
For a’ that, an’ a’ that,
His ribband, star, an’ a’ that:
The man o’ independent mind
He looks an’ laughs at a’ that.
A prince can mak a belted knight,
A marquis, duke, an’ a’ that;
But an honest man’s abon his might,
Gude faith, he maunna fa’ that!
For a’ that, an’ a’ that,
Their dignities an’ a’ that;
The pith o’ sense, an’ pride o’ worth,
Are higher rank than a’ that.