My C.V

Somewhere in amongst the continuing histrionics over Rangers F.C, the News programmes actually managed to find a limited time to report about the most recent Unemployment statistics, which are all unfortunately continuing to rise.
Scotland is marginally worse than the rest of the UK in the rise of Unemployment in the last quarter, but still marginally better in percentage of population actually in employment.

None of this is actually surprising, considering the mess left by the previous British Government and the continual attack on the poor,the ill and the elderly of society by the current lot.
The major economic levers are held by the British Tory/Liberal Government, and labour has been assisting them in the attack on ordinary people, at the expense of maintaining the wealthy.

The Scottish government can do little with a much reduced budget and without economic levers. They have been doing their best with the hand dealt to them. You would never believe it by the way Labour carries on.
Labour have been complaining about contracts going to China for Steel for the Forth Road Bridge. Unfortunately we don’t produce steel in this country any more, Thatcher saw to the death of Ravenscraig and Gartcosh, so we have no Scottish company that can tender for such a contract, but Labour thinks we do!

The Scottish government have also promised apprenticeships or education for all 16-19 year olds, but Labour think that they should do more than providing for 100% of them.
It has hard to see how much more can be done, with no means to do it?

Even the Liberals voted for the last Scottish budget, as they knew that government was doing its best.
But Labour and the Torys voted against. The Tories were no surprise, yet Labour having got nearly all they wanted given to them, still voted No! This is third time they have done this. Last time they asked for amendments, and when it came to voting on their own amendments, still voted against what they had themselves proposed!

When asked the other night on Newsnight to say what they would want, or what they would cut instead? Three and more times they had no answer, they were just against whatever the SNP was for, even if they were for it themselves!
They expect us to take them seriously?

Then we have idiotic Rangers Unionist supporters attacking the SNP for expressing concern over ordinary peoples livelihoods working for a large employer going down the tubes.
On the other side of the coin, rabid Celtic fans are claiming all sorts because they perceive comments by Salmond, telling Rangers and HMRC to sit down and try to come to terms, as being anti Catholic and Anti Celtic. Some of them seemingly leaving messages saying SNP means ‘Scottish No Popes’
Complete and utter Bigoted drivel by the minority of both sides.
forget jobs, they will support each other to the death for the right to fight each other, and hell mend anyone trying to talk sense to them.
But they will both vote against Independence. One lot because they are caught in some Royalist time warp in Northern Ireland, but don’t now fancy paying Her Majesty any tax. The other lot because they are against the SNP trying to sort out talks between Rangers and HMRC to save jobs. Thus deciding not to vote for Independence and would rather vote with the Orange Tango mob for what they want!
Nuts whole Hazel Nuts, Cadbury once made them and covered them in chocolate.

Carrying on with the jobs front, Tesco in East Anglia are advertising a host of permanent Night shift jobs in Job Center Plus.
Good News!
Actually No.
The rate of pay is…JSA + expenses
So folk get between £53 or £67 plus up to £10 bus fare, and Tesco get free labour plus paid up to £15,000 a year to have them!
A Disgrace!!

As for me?
I am no longer a youth, so Labour wont shout about me not working.
In my 50’s now, I am on the scrap heap and nobody wants me.
It’s just my tough, but I’m all right, I have seen the tough times before.
I can’t say I enjoy the nonsense I have to put up with by the State telling me what to do, but I sometimes have my small Pyrrhic victories over the system.

Even I get fed up with all the doom and gloom, so here is an account of one of my escapades. It kept me amused despite having less every week as my shopping bills climb ever higher,and little money with which to live in.

I was requested to attend a meeting with a job advisor in the job centre last week.
They wanted to view and discuss my C.V.
The job advisor’s first reaction was…..What? 5 pages! It should be no more than 1 or 2 at most.
Ok dok, fair enough says I.
She then proceeded to read it.
Having only got around quarter of the way down the first page, she was struggling to contain herself from laughing.
She managed to get a grip of herself long enough to say ‘ This is more like a story than a C.V. ‘

She then continued reading from where she had left off….
Around a minute later, she really did burst out in fits of laughter.
She had just got to the bit where I had given up my career, to start again as a writer and poet. 🙂

The rest of the interview went down hill from there, I was instructed to re write it as a C.V and not as short story…….Ahh Well….
I wonder what she will say when she receives it as a poem? 😉

MY C.V

My name immaterial for I’m not looking to work for you
It really is not your business but I was born in 1962
At 5 years old they packed my bags and sent me off to school
But I wouldn’t buckle to their system, I just loved playing the fool

I left school one sunny day back in the June of 78
I left with what I started with, and another 2 O’ Grades
I then sailed upon the sailing ships, a cook and baker then to be
And once I’d seen all I wanted to, I left in 1983

I then worked upon the buses purely for a laugh
A conductor on the 64, you’re past your stop, get aff
Then I returned to my Island home and tended to my sheep
and did a degree in psychology with the passengers I’d meet

A Crofter, Shepherd, roofer,taxi, all at the same time
When I dropped off my passengers, a DJ spinning rhymes
Somewhere I got married, and two fine sons we had
The best years off my life by far, and I was very very glad

I then moved back to the mainland, became a salesman for a time
I then did a degree In Divinity, and had my Masters by 99
I was half way through my Doctorate,when I decided then to stop
Back playing at being a Minister, my flock kept me on the hop

I travelled North and travelled West, before I travelled South
the whines In England’s green and unpleasant land, heard me saying shut yer mouth!
And then a message came from God on a snowy Christmas day
What on earth are you doing here, It’s time to give it all away!

So I gave up my earthly goods and jumped into my car
Not knowing where I was going, but knowing I was going far
I camped out in the Highlands, nearly drowned in Oban bay
Pitched my tent beside Alness, and went and worked for Tiscali

A month I stayed afore I moved on, and my books began to write
10 months working for Westminster then, with no parliament in sight
I then took off and jumped a train, working summer on the Kyle Line
Telling stories to the seagulls, the Skye bridge was looking fine

Three years then in hospitality, working through the Night
Four nights on and four nights off, with plenty time to write
But I take no shit from anyone, I don’t care if you’re the Queen
And don’t speak to me like I’m two years old, it will only cause a scene!

One month of packing shortbread then, on a busy production line
And another month with an ignorant fool,had me marking time
I hope now that you’ll like this rhyme, an attempt to make my C.V
and I will take whatever job you’ve got, just as long as it suits me!

Yours sincerely

A. Nother

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About auldacquaintance

I am not a member of any political party. I am however a strong supporter of Scots Independence. Any views which I express in this Blog are purely my own. This Blog intends to be a place where I will be putting my views on Scots Independence. It will primarily concern itself with the upcoming Referendum In Scotland. However It will also be somewhat diverse in the range of day to day issues which are evident to me in modern day Scotland. Not all of it will be political, and indeed may take me off into avenues I am not even aware of yet. Please come and join in on this journey, and any comments are welcome provided they are not abusive! All the best from a new acquaintance! Rod
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