Laugh? I nearly spat my porridge out!

Its been a funny old week…. Yes really! Down right hilarious even.

These jesters on the wonderful BBC programme “Have I got News for You” or HIGNFY for short, for those alphabetically challenged…(such as Ray Winston, their guest presenter this week, who has made a career out of missing out half his vowels and trading them in for some obscure sounds) decided to have some gentle loving humour for us Scots, just to show how much affection they have for us dawn Sawth in the seat of English enlightenment.

Such gems Ray and his wonderful panel, including Ian Hislop ( token Scottish Anglo Saxon satirist and editor) provided for us.

Pictures of Highland Dancing, more pictures of Highland Dancing with a piper, George Osbourne visiting the natives, and Alex salmond on a building site… The question being what was the connection?

Hislop gleefully informed us that If Scotland go Independent the Chancellor said that THEY couldn’t have the pound..But Alex Salmond who will be in charge of Scotland, his title Isn’t clear yet,he may be King!
(Studio laughter) last week he was really keen on the Euro…..but…something happened??
His fellow guest panellist (no idea who she is?) said is there not something about a different currency?
Hislop said… Yes…but we are not clear what it might be, It could be the Mars Bar.

Winston asks…Why is George Osbourne saying they can’t have it? Hislop responds its basically a bit of a threat, vote NO and you will be alright..To which Winston responds …So he is basically saying that if Scotland becomes a separate economy, he doesn’t want Scotland dragging us all down with it…But to be fair..Scotland does have its strengths..its chief exports being Oil, whisky,tartan and tramps (more raucous studio laughter)
Winston then says …So do we let them keep the pound…or should we just tell them all to bugger off?
At which point he consults the laughing studio audience with the question….Hands up all who thinks they should all Bugger Off? ( hands shoot up enthusiastically in the studio audience with much hilarity at the prospect)

All good fun don’t you think? I was absolutely splitting my sides with laughter…. I haven’t had such a belly laugh in ages…. Wonderful stuff!

So let me have a quick recap ..
We will all take up highland dancing.
Scotland will become a building site
Alex Salmond will be crowned King of Scotland
Our Currency will be the Mars bar
Our main exports will include tartan, and of course a ready supply of tramps.
At the end of it all we will be denied the pound because it belongs to England only
And lastly…We will all be told to Bugger Off….

Now imagine if we actually could do political satire in Scotland.. Seemingly we are incapable of it according to BBC Newsnight. I guess they have never seen the BBC Scotlandshire website.
Wouldn’t our lovely neighbours enjoy being told that they are all Morris dancers and they are all up the pole when we go. Their beloved pound will be the chocolate sweetie variety in terms of worth. Our exports and taxes which accrue from Oil, tourism, whisky, salmon, sciences, games industry, fishing and farming, and new energy will no longer support their mickey mouse currency and of course we wont take their 1.3 trillion debt or any share of….. They will be delighted to know that we have ahem…voluntarily buggered off..

Hot on the heels of this comedy show….we had the Calmangate affair… where some unknown to me, female Scots comedienne by the name of Susan Calman made a grand fuss in her blog about nasty threats to her from these awful Cybernats on some blog she had heard about (which nobody has yet identified) attacking her for awful comedy on a bbc radio programme, accusing her of being a traitor, and of even death threats for her lack of Scottish patriotism! Seeming she had abuse thrown at her on social media, on her twitter and facebook pages…. An absolute travesty which BBC Newsnight and the Scotsman ran wild with…and of course giving her a great deal of publicity..
The funny thing is, I have checked her twitter account, and her facebook page and found absolutely nothing of the sort….why would that be?

But people have been taking this comedic storm to heart, and believing every word of what she, the BBC and the Scotsman have reported….These evil Cybernats are everywhere, and threatening to kill people for being awfully unfunny!!
So why no evidence to back up these allegations, and why has these death threats not been reported to the police? we have rules over that sort of behaviour now.

The only thing of relevance I could find which might show a light was a couple of seemingly unconnected facts.
Her father is Professor Kenneth Calman…. He of the Unionist Calman Commision.
And one of her friends on twitter…. The Scottish Conservative Leader Ruth Davidson sent her a message last week… .inquiring how her arse was for Love Bites?
Lesbian humour I guess 😉 And about the funniest thing I have heard or read all week .

About auldacquaintance

I am not a member of any political party. I am however a strong supporter of Scots Independence. Any views which I express in this Blog are purely my own. This Blog intends to be a place where I will be putting my views on Scots Independence. It will primarily concern itself with the upcoming Referendum In Scotland. However It will also be somewhat diverse in the range of day to day issues which are evident to me in modern day Scotland. Not all of it will be political, and indeed may take me off into avenues I am not even aware of yet. Please come and join in on this journey, and any comments are welcome provided they are not abusive! All the best from a new acquaintance! Rod
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11 Responses to Laugh? I nearly spat my porridge out!

  1. Turra Loon says:

    And one of her friends on twitter…. The Scottish Conservative Leader Ruth Davidson sent her a message last week… .inquiring how her arse was for Love Bites? Result is my Coffee is all over my Keyboard. Thanks Auld Acquaintance. Also my wife was shouting and asking what I was laughing about. You have made my evening.

  2. tntbrian says:

    Many thanks for blogging about this subject, it has been really annoying me to put it politely. I have shared this entry on twitter and FB and reblogged it 🙂

  3. tntbrian says:

    Reblogged this on Scottish Pilgrim vs The World and commented:
    definitely worth a read

  4. Tris says:

    Nice to see you back, and with a corker of a post.

    I used to like Calman. She can be very funny, but the way she appears to have blown this up for self publicity has put me right off her.

    I hope they don’t use her any more on The News Quiz, but I suspect the BBC will love her all the more for (allegedly) suffering at the hands of vile cybernats.

  5. Stevie says:

    This BritNat is full of it – a B.S. merchant. That is one thing but for the BBC etc. to take this rubbish seriously shows just how corrupt their news reporting is.

  6. Caz says:

    I also saw HIGNFY, it was an insult to humour – pedalling the same old stereotypes – which we’ve heard a thousand times before.
    Over the last couple of weeks there seems to have been an almost constant ridicule and contempt on the MSM. The last straw for me was watching ‘The Wright Stuff’ at the beginning of the week when, during the papers review, once again the panel found a reason to mock us. Alex Salmond wanted 16 year olds to get the vote because “he needed all the votes he could get”, he’d have “4 year olds vote if he could”; That England was more likely to vote for Scottish Independence than the Scots. Just all the usual nonsense, we’ve all heard it before. I was so incensed, that I commented on their web page. A few hours later someone else commented, called Graeme, he was an undecided voter, who agreed wholeheartedly with my post and added that the constant tirade of mocking the Scottish electorate was becoming unbearable. His post was removed by a moderator later on that day. It was a well put comment, was not offensive, so I could see no good reason for its removal. In fact someone else who also agreed with the comment, asked why it had been removed. I tried a further twice to comment on his post, but was also removed by the moderator, again I wrote nothing offensive.

    • In a way we should be quite happy….The more they carry on like this, the more they make the undecided decided that they will vote for Independence….After all….who wants to live with abusers?
      And whatever they dress these attacks up as…comedy if they like? Sneering is not comedy, and it is not funny…it is abuse.
      They are doing a grand job of promoting independence… The worrying thing, is that there seems to be a mindset that believes what they pass off as humour amongst them.

      • Caz says:

        Well let’s hope it pushes people towards a yes vote, as I dread the so called ‘humour’ we’ll have to endure if there’s a NO vote.
        The injustice of watching all this going on, and having no ability to speak up is frustrating to say the least!

  7. balgayboy says:

    Good that you are back. Humour is a very personal and subjective, Ms Calman’s script was not satire addressed to the Scottish Political scene but verged on the common stereotype cringe- like pro-unionist Scot to do down it’s people and who would rather endear themselves to an appreciative audience for what seems like personal profiling and acceptance.
    Not funny in my view and deserves the criticism that followed. HIGFNY are not without the same critique but they have previous for this against other nations outside “London” I am hopeful they will do a sketch on English Morris Dancing this week seeing as it was 1st May this week, not holding my breath as it is an EBC programme.

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