Eton Mess and Labour Crumble

Eton mess is a traditional English Dessert consisting of a mixture of strawberries, broken meringue, and whipped heavy cream.Or alternatively the dogs breakfast David Camerons Tories left us with, but instead of broken meringue they used Brexit.
Theresa Mays version give us such luminaries as Boris Johnson, Fox and Davies as the chefs to really make an even bigger mess.
With Theresa May as head Chef it all goes really pear shaped in the Great British Brexit Bake Off as she doesn’t even know the recipe for making Brexit work and Insists that the SNP helped come up with the recipe.
Now one would think with this sort of culinary mayhem going on that Labour would have taken every opportunity to cook the books themselves. Unfortunately for them, instead of coming up with a better recipe, they have come up with a dish called Labour Crumble instead.

The past few weeks and months since Brexit with the Torys all stabbing each other in the back with their own blood letting, Instead of holding them to account Labour have been going into a mosh pit instead. The Labour MPs all lining up to stab their Caesar Jeremy Corbyn in the back. With Corbyn proclaiming Et tu Brutes the blundering plotters elected an even more unelectable challenger in Owen Smith .

Meanwhile up in their Scottish Regional branch office, their local office branch manager Kezia Dugdale was spinning on her heels faster than a contestant in Strictly come dancing.
One moment she was saying that Corbyn was the bees knees who would lead labour Moses like to the promised land, then the next she was saying that he was a chimp who had lost all his bananas. Then she was saying Owen was her man, then she wasn’t.
Corbyn finally won the leadership ballot of the Labour members who were still not purged and he called for unity, so Dugdale said yes lets have unity and we can win this, but Jezza is still unelectable, I really stand by that.

In among all these going ons, we were told yet again for the 4th time in 3 years that the Scottish Labour branch office would REALLY be autonomous, but their sole Scottish MP Ian Murray took exception to this, we are automatons he said!
We are automatons in charge of all local and national policies, and we can make our decisions differently from Labour in London, only we must vote in Westminster how they say even if we say differently.
Precisely, he was right, they are automatons.

So here we are today, The Tories still desperately looking for the meaning of life in the meaning of Brexit. The Scottish Tories and Murdo Fraser demanding that the SNP explain Brexit to them and tell them what Brexit means. May saying that it is all the SNPs fault as they are equally responsible for Brexit.
Labour with Corbyn still leader search for new ways to destruct their crumble, and Kezia blames SNP for all Labour Ills.

As for the LibDems? Willie Rennie is looking for his plastic duck.